Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someones neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh...

...because what is that thing!? Have you ever wondered what might happen if you impulsively decide to make some late night rice in your rice cooker and then you forget about for three weeks (THREE WEEKS)? I will tell you what will happen. You will walk over to your rice cooker all excited-like ready to fix yourself some late night rice and then you will open your rice cooker and get the absolute worst shock of your life because for a second, you thought there was a ferret or some other dark-haired rodent hiding inside your rice cooker...ready to pounce on you. And then you will be relieved, but only for a second, when you realize it is, in fact, horrible black mold that has taken on a life of its own, and in a way this will freak you out even more because AREN'T THOSE SPORES DANGEROUS!? and now they are in your lungs and you are frantically trying to rinse out the bowl with scalding hot water and it hurts, but now you're just laughing because the whole situation reminds you of one of your favorite Jack Handy quotes.